The Ilia's Lovers - Chapter Thirty-Five

Elaine stood in her own bedroom at the villa staring in the mirror at the clothes Hadith had left for her for the party on the last night of the Ket’Kitara meeting. She didn’t want to go, but as Pyri pointed out to her, she had promised to informally introduce the Bilaal Gadid’s to Dahnus so that they could talk.

As was always the case with Hadith, he’d dressed them to speak of their unity. She wore a long gown of aqua and mauve, yellow for Radiin and a little orange for Kerrok’s and no doubt her eye colour would appear in their clothes as well. But there wasn’t much unity in this house right now.

Kerrok had moved in and was sleeping down the hall. His foul temper filled the house and the only way to calm it was for Elaine to stay away from Dahnus, Hadith and Radiin, not that wild horses could have dragged her to them right now. She was angry at Dahnus and Hadith for lying to her. Radiin for withholding the truth and Kerrok for telling her the truth, and for being an asshole in general.

Elaine had spent an hour pinning and curling her hair into an elegant hairstyle, having done the same for Pyri earlier after they’d spent the morning being lavishly cared for in the spa beneath the house. Their make up had been professionally done and looked good, as had their nails. Elaine felt more beautiful than she had in a long time, and it was tinged in misery.

Lovers. Dahnus had forced four lover onto her. The other Kuyon was already on the way to the palace, Chorin. He was a part of some misfit group of people who did special missions for Thanesh, so the whole ship was coming with him. Chorin wanted them to stay in case his profile didn’t click with Elaine and Paydin, was in a suite under the care of an Amaran cryo specialist on Dahnus’s ship.

Four lovers, one of them an aggressive male who’d ruined everything. Though really it wasn’t his fault. He’d just told her what the warning in her head had been signalling for days. Elaine felt so stupid now. Of course, Dahnus had introduced her to his family, so she could see the family she could have if she accepted these males.

A knock at the door interrupted Elaine’s self-pity party. She wiped her eyes dry, loving the waterproof makeup, and opened the door.

“It’s time to go, Silla,” Dahnus said, his face chagrined as he watched her.

Elaine walked out of the room, stepping around him and walked down the hall, hearing Dahnus sigh and follow. As she walked, Hadith fell into step behind her. She passed Radiin who watched her with tender eyes and Kerrok who squinted as she passed. They too fell in line behind her.

The journey to the resort where the final ball was being held took less than twenty minutes. The Akora was tense with everyone packed inside, the men on one side all squashed together, while Elaine took the other side to herself. She ignored them the entire journey, watching the sea pass beneath them.

There were press when they arrived at the hotel and they had to stop for photos before they went inside to the gold and blue decorated ballroom and gardens beyond.

Hundreds of dignitaries milled about the room talking. Their arrival was announced to the room and aliens from a dozen and more worlds turned to watch them enter. Elaine felt the floor drop from under her at the attention but kept her chin up as Hadith had trained her and looked them in the eye, refusing to let her intimidation show.

They walked down the stairs into the obscurity of the crowd. When a hand slipped into hers, Elaine tried to pull it away.

“Elaine, it’s me.”

Elaine turned to find Pyri standing next to her. She gripped her best friends hand closer and tugged her away from the group, feeling four pairs of eyes in her back as she pulled Pyri, shadowed by Nadan and Adaran, to a quiet corner.

“How are you doing?” Pyri asked.

Elaine shook her head. “Not well. I can’t stay with them tonight. Can I come to your villa.”

“Of course,” Pyri said, looking at Adaran, Pyri’s second who immediately got on a comm to arrange a spare room was made up for Elaine.

“Make it three, Zinif and Thalvuten will want to be there as well, and Hemian’s team will probably guard the house as well,” Pyri said as Adaran watched her nodding and adding her instructions.

“I just feel so betrayed,” Elaine said, seeing Kerrok through the crowd watching her. Elaine stepped so that she could no longer see him, only to find Radiin watching her from another angle.

“Will they never leave me alone,” Elaine said, turning again.

“Come here,” Pyri said, swapping position with Elaine so that her back was to both of them, and so that Adaran and Nadan effectively blocked out the room allowing Elaine to a few moments to pretend she wasn’t here, she wasn’t surrounded by people.

“Thank you,” Elaine said, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths. When she opened her eyes Pyri was watching her with concern.

“Have you started learning about the politics yet?” Pyri asked.

It took Elaine a moment to remember the conversation they were having in the park before Paydin, before her mate collapsed in front of them. She thought about him lying in that cryo tube against his will. She had done that to him, and now she owed him. She owed him a piece of her life and everything that came with that. There was a male, another Kuyon, Chorin, on his way to Amara even now to close the bond. And behind her, a Sehn and a Zenin were both watching her, waiting for her to embrace them.

How could he do this to me? To them?

But he hadn’t done it to her in Paydin’s case. In that case, she’d done it to herself. She’d known what putting Paydin in cryo meant and she’d accepted it wholeheartedly in that moment.

“I guess you haven’t had the time?” Pyri said, her eyes chasing the expressions across Elaine’s face.

“I want to. I could do so much good if I understood. Couldn’t I?” she asked, feeling unsure.

“You could,” Pyri assured her. “You have to understand the world before you can see the things you want to dedicate time to.”

Elaine nodded. “I have a lot of work to do,” she said, feeling intimidated.

For Elaine, it wasn’t a surprise that Pyri was so invested in her world. Doubtless, three seconds after Pyri understood the inequalities and injustices of Adosia, she had a plan on how to tackle it. It was her way. Her mind was quick, and she never thought a complex problem had to have a simple solution. Pyri understood people, history, politics.

For Elaine, things were more of a vibe. She could never put into words why things felt off, but she could feel it. But to be the lover of the Ilan of Amara, she had to do more than vibe.

“I’m going to forgive them,” Elaine sighed.

“I had a feeling. Listen, my guys did some pretty awful things when I first arrived on Adosia. If I can forgive them, you can forgive Dahnus and Hadith. They were trying to protect you.”

“They should have included me in their decision. And just because I’m going to forgive them, doesn’t mean I’m ready to yet.”

“Of course not. You need to identify all of your feelings and why you’re feeling them and you them to hold themselves accountable and learn from their mistakes. Forgiveness, true forgiveness needs the full light of understanding and accountability. So go through your process. I’m sure they’ll be waiting for you when it’s all over.”

Elaine looked over her shoulder to Kerrok on one side staring intensely at her, and Radiin on the other, trying to pretend his whole focus wasn’t on her. The worst thing was, she could feel the draw to both. When Elaine saw the wounds on Kerrok’s hands, it felt like her own hands were torn open. She wanted nothing more than to heal him, to make the wounds go away. Radiin’s quiet presence had become a soothing comfort to her over the last few days. Given time, she knew she would have accepted them both long before she realised what Dahnus was doing. She didn’t know if that was better or worse.

“The Bilaal Gadid’s and Ahana.” Pyri’s voice cut through her thoughts which vanished as Elaine turned to greet the Ambassador and his general wife. Both General Ahana Katri and Admiral Nyala Bilaal Gadid were in full dress uniform and every instinct from Elaine’s training kicked in, making her stand a little taller. She could see Pyri beside her responding the same way.

“The party is amazing,” Elaine said. “The decorations look like the same decorations we had when Endurance launched.”

“They are,” Alexander replied. “I insisted on it. Endurance was successful in its mission. It made it to the IGC. We may have been betrayed, but I believe these decorations are lucky. We will walk away from this meeting with allies. We will save Earth.”

Elaine struggled to swallow for a moment. She wasn’t sure how right Alexander was, but she hoped.

“Elaine.” Pyri nodded pointedly over Elaine’s shoulder.

Dahnus had placed himself conveniently nearby, doubtless by design.

“Dahnus,” Elaine called out, remembering her promise to the Bilaal Gadids.

“My heart,” Dahnus said, with a practised smile on his face. He gave Elaine a kiss on the cheek and watched her face carefully, warily.

“May I introduce Ambassador Alexander Bilaal Gadid and his wife, Admiral Nyala Bilaal Gadid and General Ahana Katri both of ISAF.”

Dahnus turned as if he’d only just noticed they were there and smiled. They went through the niceties of meeting before Dahnus began.

“Thanesh has told me many things about you all. I believe you’re stationed on the space station Thanesh built?”

“We are. We were hoping we might have an official Amaran ambassador aboard to open a more formal friendship,” Alexander said with a charming smile.

Dahnus’s grin widened a little. He liked Alexander.

“At the moment, that may harm your cause more than help it. However, I think in the near future it could be arranged.”

“Sessan Tanios would make an excellent ambassador to Earth,” Hadith said appearing by Dahnus’s side.

“He would indeed. And I believe the two of you would get on. He’s here, actually, let me introduce you.” Dahnus said.

Just like that, Dahnus led the Bilaal Gadid’s away.

“Should I follow them?” Elaine asked Pyri.

“No. You did your part. They’ll not talk to you much if you’re there and that will only work to undermine your position as Dahnus’s lover in their eyes. Of the power you hold.”

“How do you know all this stuff?” Elaine asked.

“Our mate is naturally talented in such things,” Nadan said, taking Pyri’s hand and kissing it. Pyri smiled and flushed.

Elaine looked away, her eyes finding Kerrok who was still watching her with the same intensity. She looked away, unable to deal with the emotion in his eyes.

She had no obligation to him, or to Radiin. That was something she wanted to establish. That was one of the feelings she had. She had an obligation to Paydin because of the choice she’d made on his behalf. But just because Dahnus brought this two males into her life, just because they’d bonded to her, didn’t mean she owed them anything. It wasn’t her fault these decisions were made without her.

But the draw. It was undeniable. She knew, sooner or later, she would give in. sooner or later, Kerrok and Radiin would become her mates.

Elaine thought back to Sirini and Vetran and imagined tiny half human hybrids running around the palace with her eyes and Kerrok’s horns, or Radiin’s pale skin and she knew, someday, they would be there. More, she yearned for them. For the love and family Borum had nurtured in his own children, whether by blood or by love.

But they could have talked to her at any time.

“That went extremely well,” Dahnus said, appearing at her elbow. “Sessan has long been my choice to be the ambassador we send to Earth. Right now, he and Alexander are talking about Earth and I had very little to do with it.” Dahnus grinned at her. “Dance with me, my heart. Please. Let me explain.”

Elaine sighed. She would let him, and then she would explain.

Dahnus led Elaine outside to the dance floor. Dahnus had taken some human dance lessons and Elaine had trained at the academy for formal occasions so when a gentle waltz started they joined the dancers. Dahnus held her close. She could feel the heat of him against her. She knew what this body was capable of. She knew how much she wanted to forgive him just so she could spend the night asleep next to him and Hadith.

They danced in silence for two songs.

“I find, I’m unable to say anything,” Dahnus said, finally. “Whatever explanation I come up with, feels like a feeble excuse.”

“That’s because it is,” Elaine said. “I’m an adult. You treated me like a child who needed to have decisions made for her.”

Dahnus’s grip tightened.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

It didn’t soothe the rage inside Elaine.

“I am insane with fear of losing you. It is not an excuse. I should have done better.”

“You made me feel like you were prostituting my body for my safety.”

That’s where her rage sat, Elaine realised. These words, as horrible and hateful as they were, were how Dahnus made her feel that day. Like her body was a price to pay. A thing.

Dahnus went still for a briefest moment before she recovered. His grip tightened again. Elaine moved a little away from him to see the pain and horror on his face. He stared down at her, anger and recrimination and for a moment Elaine withered, afraid he would take those emotions out on her.

Then they faded to sorrow and Elaine knew they were never how he felt about her, but about himself and what he had done.

“Elaine….” Dahnus’s voice faltered.

“Excuse me, Ilan Ascendi?”

The Kuyon male was dressed in the high end Kuyon tailoring Elaine had become accustomed to in her time on Ket’Kitara. His face looked pale, like all the blood had rushed from it, his lips were thinned and lines of tension drew his skin taut.

“Governor Aquel, what seems to be the problem?”

Dahnus was barely paying attention to the governor, still too shocked and horrified by what Elaine had told him, she thought. But there was something about the way the governor held himself that immediately rang alarm bells.

“Hadith?”

The governor looked at her briefly, and nodded.

“What happened?”

“Where is he?”

Elaine wasn’t even sure which one of them asked which question, she could already see they had the same answer.

“He was walking in the north garden talking to a Surilan male. His guards said there was a flash and when they came too, both Lord Efari and the Surilan were gone. We’ve looked for him everywhere, he doesn’t appear to be here.”